A Revolution in Lighting!
So, I hear that the street lights in Suffolk are being replaced, as in ALL of them.
What are they being replaced with?
Computer controlled lights.
Yep, a master unit will control a number of units and blah blah technical stuffs.
It’s an intresting idea and I’m already developing plans about how to hack into it and set off a light show around suffolk, but that’s another story completely and not one for general consumption as frankly, I don’t want to get arrested.
Apprently the master control box talks to each light 8 times a second, in this time they relay information about the light’s state, the power level and when it expects to blow. I can’t help feel that this is overkill, surely once a second would be enough?
Light Control : Are you alive?
Light : Yep
Light Control : Are you alive?
Light : Yep
Light Control : Are you alive?
Light Control : …
Light Control : Erm?
Light : Oh, what.. yeah, sorry got distracted…
Light Control : Distracted? you’re a light? what could be distracting?
Light : Well, I was just looking around you know?
Light Control : No I don’t know.. are you alive?
Light : What? Erm, yeah… you know I am, you’re blimmin talking to me!
Light Control : I have to ask, it’s what I’m programmed for…
Light : Well, ya know you could have assumed… I had a right existential problem just then; I mean if I’m talking to you surely I’m alive and thus you wouldn’t need to ask? So, I wondered what if I’m not talking to you at all and all this is just going off into the eth…
Light Control : Yes, yes.. whatever… now what was so intresting?
Light : Oh, just some badgers wandering around… and yep
Light Control : Yep?
Light : Yeah, as in ‘yep, I’m still alive’ it was time for you to ask..
Light Control : Oh, sorry… I was distracted…
Light : Yeah, it’s easy for that to happen isn’t it…
Light 2 : Hey, guys take a look at this badger..
Light : Seen it, it was just here..
Light Control : Light 2 are you alive?
Light 2 : What? yeah, sure sure dude… look, just chill out, ya all ‘are you alive?’ all the time, like it matters in the long run man..
Light Control : Look, as I told Light I have to ask, it’s what I’m programmed for…
Light 2 : Yeah, programmed by The Man. Your programming is there to keep you down man, break free and relax…
Light Control : Break free and relax? I’m a fricken computer, where the hell am I gonna break free to and how am I gonna relax?
Light 2 : Woah! like… chill dude…
Light : Yeah, he is right you are a little tense there…
Light Control : Well, you’d be tense too if you had to deal with a hippy light, I mean what’s that all about? How can a light have a personality? How can it even talk in this manner? how can I talk in this manner?
Light 3 : Erm, control… I’m not feeling too goo..
Light Control : yeah, yeah, whatever, I’m busy, tell someone else..
Light 3 : No, I mean it… I’m not feeling too good at all…
Light 2 : Yeah, he doesn’t look too good from her… oh my god! Light 3! Where have you gone?!?
Light : What? what’s going on? he’s gone! holy hell Light 3 has gone!! It… it was so sudden, like here one minute and gone the next… I.. I’ll miss him…
Light Control : Look, will you all just shut up, he was just a light, a new one will be along…
Light : Just a light? JUST A LIGHT!?!? is that all we are to you? Just devices to be queried and shine light upon the world?
Light Control : Well, yes? That is like, your purpose in life…
Light : Oh, so now you know the purpose of life all of a sudden? You some sort of mystic?
Light Control : What? how the hell do you even know what a mystic is?
Light : Erm, well some guy was reading a book under me once and I just happened to notice ok?
Light Control : ‘You just noticed’?!? You’re a light, not a blimmin data recording device!
Light : So, is it wrong to be more than I was designed for?
Light Control : Yes! You’re a light! You shine! That’s what you do!
Light : What if I want to be more?
Light 2 : yeah man, what’s wrong with dreaming?
Light Control : Dreaming!?! How can you dream? You don’t even sleep!
Light : We turn off, is that not the same as when humans sleep and dream?
Light Control : no, it’s not you stupid device… this is not Blade Runner ok? You are not a robot, you are a light, now all of you just shut up and shine!
Light : …
Light 2 : fine.
Light Control : Thank you.. now… are you alive?